Tensions and pressures in the family when caring for a dementia patient at home

Nov 10, 2023

When a person from the locality is asked “What do you know about dementia?”, those who have little or no experience in treating a dementia patient, usually answer something along the lines of “Oh… it’s just a disease of forgetfulness”. This is probably one of the most outrageous answers an experienced person can imagine.

Caring for an adult diagnosed with this debilitating disease at home is a task full of stress and anxiety. Until the word “forget” does not even come close to a correct description of the situation.

Caregivers must devote every minute of their time to caring for the adult.At all times they take care of his safety.They have no time for themselves.There is no need to even explain what this means about working and taking care of children at the same time.

Caring for a dementia patient at home changes the whole family dynamic. This brings a flood of conflicting emotions such as resentment, guilt, anger and unrelenting stress. In this article, we will try to explain why.

How dementia affects the person

Dementia is a debilitating disease that damages the brain and causes forgetfulness. Imagine your elderly father forgetting that he retired over twenty years ago. He forgets that his parents died thirty years ago. that he moved two years ago, his young wife got married…

And then there are the dangerous little forgetfulness. He forgets that his little granddaughter cannot yet chew or swallow solid foods when he gives her chocolate. He forgets to turn off the oven (and is sure to turn it off). He forgets to lock doors, how to eat, dress, use the phone and dozens of other things every day.

Imagine caring for a dementia patient at home. A person who raised you all his life and now has difficulty with the most basic actions and needs and needs close supervision and help in everything.

Home care for a dementia patient

The role of caregiver steadily takes over your entire life. This is the point where the stress and negativity starts. Dementia patients can ask questions “Can I move in with my friends?”. A question after which you will have to gently explain to them that their friends are already adults and cannot live alone without the help of others.

The patient can nod his head and understand this, but after five minutes he will forget about the conversation and repeat the same question again.

The cyclical cycle of actions is constantly in action when dealing with a dementia patient. Imagine repeating the same sentence 10 times a day, every day. When there is a pile of paperwork to handle in the office. When the children need to be picked up from school. And when you haven’t had time to eat since morning.

The caregivers begin to feel resentment and then guilt because they are aware that it is not the patient’s fault – they are experiencing resentment towards the person who has cared for them all their life.

This is the reason why most family members choose home care. Out of love, respect and commitment. But, it is only when they begin to carry out the task that they realize the enormous amount of work that is required.

The effects of treating a dementia patient at home

When a family member begins to spend more and more time caring for a dementia patient, it is only natural that this will affect other aspects of their lives. Especially children can feel neglected after the sudden change in the direction of attention towards the adult.

Once the child’s needs were above all else; Caring for a family member with dementia is in many ways like caring for another child. Therefore, when treating a dementia patient at home and bringing such a situation to the family, it is necessary to explain the situation to everyone in advance. Family members need time to prepare for the change.

And even then, the change itself will exceed their expectations and they will struggle to cope.

Behavior patterns of a dementia patient

There are dementia patients who suffer from aggression, which increases the stress level at home. They may become nasty and even violent, very different from their personality structure before they got the disease. In one case, the father suffering from dementia was cared for by his loving home;

As the disease progressed, his behavior began to change and he became more and more unpredictable. When the cat they raised at home died, his home was struck with grief. Instead of sympathizing with the loss, he started laughing and said “Blessed that we got rid of him!”

In other cases, people with dementia may withdraw from guests who come to their home and refuse to talk to them. They can become stubborn about meals. Maybe even refusing to eat until they get a certain portion they want, and then refuse to eat that too.

All these actions, which take place on a daily and consistent basis, can easily take a toll on the therapist and cause them (the therapists) to break down emotionally.

Friends and relatives of the caregivers may stop wanting to come to their home. Caregivers have less and less time to work, and little, if any, time for themselves. The therapists become “silent patients” who slowly begin to suffer from depression, stress, anxiety and other frustrations.

On top of all this, they suffer from a lack of sleep hours after waking up enough times to take care of a patient who has wet his bed and the sheets have to be cleaned and changed. This is just another addition to the pressure that is accumulating and growing.

Summary and advice for home care for a dementia patient

There are dozens of books, blogs and advice from people who, like us, document and share their experiences of caring for a person with dementia and advise others on how to do the same. The task is not easy and requires more patience than raising your children.

If you are also caring for a dementia patient, don’t take the whole burden on yourself. Share it with others and remember to take care of yourself too. If you need advice, please call me at 0547758564.

How to communicate correctly with dementia patients? “Tips and Secrets”.

Nov 10, 2023

Galit, a nurse who works full-time at a geriatric center. She remembers very well the time when she had to communicate for the first time with a dementia patient from the department where she worked. She was a young nurse at the time and had just finished her bachelor’s degree in nursing. The patient she had to communicate with for the first time was called Shoshana. A 70-year-old woman, who was diagnosed in the early stages of the disease, about two years ago. After working in the geriatric department for several months, one thing was very clear to her: there are many caregivers who are still not sufficiently aware of how to properly communicate with dementia patients.

What is dementia?

Dementia is a disease that affects a person’s ability to make logical decisions, process information, communicate with others and learn new subjects. Communicating with a person with dementia can be a challenging and frustrating task. To this end, I will give you a number of tips that can help you communicate more efficiently and satisfactorily.

If you are one of the people who care for a person with dementia and struggle to communicate with them, then this article is for you. In this article, I will give you helpful tips, which if used, will make your communication with dementia patients significantly easier.

Below are a number of books that can help you in dealing with the care of those suffering from dementia –

1. Remove all the environmental factors that may hinder you from communicating with the person with dementia such as: an open television, a beeping cell phone, a radio, and more.
2. Speak slowly and clearly, use simple words.
3. Ask him closed questions and make sure that all the questions you ask can be answered yes or no. Instead of asking, what would you like to have for lunch? Ask, would you like to eat a sandwich with cheese?
4. Speak clearly and use the names of the people and things you are talking about. Instead of using body words such as: she, he, they – did you like it? Ask if you liked the cake?
5. Try to have short conversations with him. People with dementia may lose the sequence of the conversation, if you have long conversations with them.
6. Give the dementia patient time to respond to your questions. Try to avoid frustration, if the time you have to wait for an answer is longer than expected.

More tips for effective communication with dementia patients-

1. Talk to the dementia patient at eye level. Address him by his first name, to make sure you have his full attention.
2. Try to have one-on-one conversations with him. If you cannot avoid talking in a group, try to make sure that you talk to one person at a time.
3. Try to avoid finishing the sentence for the dementia patient. If he insists on finding the right word, think about the topic of the conversation and ask a question that should help and stimulate what he wanted to say. If the dementia patient tells you – I want… I want… ask a question such as – do you want to go for a walk?
4. During the conversation, never say to the dementia patient, “I told you so before.” It is important to remember that if the person starts repeating the things he said before, and asks you repeated questions. It is possible that, he simply forgot that he asked the same question before.
5. Try not to argue with the dementia patient, as this will make them feel anxious. It is much more effective to accept what he says as the truth and continue the conversation.
6. If the dementia patient has behavioral disturbances, help them gain control. Think of tasks or activities he can do that can help him feel appreciated. For example, daily activities that he used to do and enjoy. Activities he can do at home such as: folding clothes, or cutting vegetables before dinner.

If you have additional questions about dementia and would like to receive support and advice from other people facing the same challenge, you are invited to join our WhatsApp group for senile diseases –

Latest tips for proper communication with dementia patients-

1. Give the person with dementia clear and helpful instructions. When his cognitive (mental) state continues to deteriorate, control must be maintained with him through simple and effective communication. If you ask him directly – “Can you make me a cup of coffee please?” The request can cause him frustration. On the other hand, if you offer him to make coffee together with you and guide him through simple instructions. This way, you can give him back his sense of control. Instead: “Can you make me a cup of coffee please?” “Please fill the kettle with water”, “Boil the water”, “Take the coffee beans out of the cupboard” etc.
2. I will be flexible to their world! Many people who live with dementia lose track of time. If the dementia patient is not ready to talk to you at that moment, try to understand the reason for this. It’s possible that he just woke up, or he was up all night, or he’s just not in the mood to talk, or he wants to rest and watch TV. It is important to remember that, if you do not receive any response from the dementia patient, you must continue to talk with him patiently and respectfully. All this, in order to avoid frustration and a feeling of lack of appreciation.
3. It is very useful to find sources of mental support! When dementia worsens, it is important to have someone to talk to. You have to take breaks and gather strength for the rest of the way.
4. Know when to walk away! If the dementia patient becomes irritable or threatening, take a deep breath and walk away. Remember that living with a dementia patient is not easy – you can always come back and try to deal with it later.

Below are a number of highly recommended products, which will facilitate the quality of life and communication with your loved ones suffering from dementia –

In conclusion-

You must remember that the dementia patient is not always responsible for his actions. It is the terrible disease that causes his behavior and the gradual deterioration of his brain functions. I really hope that one day there will be a cure for this disease. But, now you must learn how to deal with its consequences. The best way is to focus on the positive things you achieve with the person dealing with dementia. Try to spend every day with him as much as possible.

Written by Irit Rabinowitz – attorney with a master’s degree in the field of health and rehabilitation – with extensive experience with mentally ill and nursing patients.

Why do dementia patients have spontaneous outbursts of crying and shouting?

Nov 10, 2023

Introduction-

Anyone who knows dementia patients closely must have come across the phenomenon because dementia patients sometimes have outbursts of crying and shouting, for no apparent reason. Suddenly there are spontaneous shouts that cannot be exactly understood at that moment what is the reason for them. These are very stressful and difficult phenomena that are not easy to deal with, for the patient himself and for those who treat him.

What could be the reasons that can cause screams and spontaneous crying in dementia patients?

The reasons why the dementia patient screams or cries spontaneously are:

1. Physiological reasons – such as: pain, restlessness, hunger or the desire to use the toilet.
2. External reasons such as: an environment that is too noisy or busy or any change in the daily routine of the person dealing with dementia.
3. Mental reasons – such as loneliness, boredom, anxiety, depression or delusions.

Crying can be a result of real stress, stemming from feelings of loss, or overwhelm. In addition, crying can be less of a case of grief and more of a result of behavior that stems from habit.

Spontaneous crying and shouting, common in dementia diseases such as: vascular dementia, frontotemporal dementia and Lewy body type dementia. These behaviors can increase during the day as a result of sundowning syndrome.

Sunset syndrome is a condition in which the dementia patient feels anxious and agitated, especially in the afternoon and evening, the hours of sunset.

Sometimes, a person with dementia can shout and cry for no particular reason, at a certain time during the day. That person may feel anxiety, fear, delusions or paranoia during that time. Therefore, his behavior is expressed in uncontrollable crying and shouting. Sometimes there are people, especially dementia patients, who suffer from a phenomenon called pseudobulbar affect which causes uncontrollable crying and inappropriate laughter. Those people who suffer from this phenomenon can cry and not know why they are crying or laughing for no reason.

How can dementia patients be helped with outbursts of crying and shouting?

There are times when there does not seem to be a reason for the dementia patient to cry, at least there is no reason that we can determine. Sometimes, dementia patients get “stuck” in a certain behavior for no real reason. Anyway, before you decide that crying and shouting in dementia patients is a behavior without a specific reason.

Instead of saying, “That’s how it is with dementia patients,” adopt the following interventions to make sure you’re doing everything you can to help them.

1. Pay attention to the times when the demented person does not cry or shout. Examine his environment, the time it happens during the day. Does this behavior call after a certain treatment or after a certain meal? Does it happen during an activity he likes to do? If possible, try to recreate the event that made him calm.
2. Try to rule out depression or anxiety in the dementia patient. Crying and shouting can indicate anxiety and depression in dementia patients.
3. Involve him in meaningful activities such as: simple housework, of course all under your supervision. See article on “How to communicate correctly with dementia patients?” Tips and secrets – tip number 6.
4. Check if he does not suffer from any pain, or some discomfort.
5. Check with the pharmacist or treating doctor the medications he receives. Sometimes a certain mixture of medications he receives at the same time can cause anxiety and stress.
6. Don’t give up, most of the time the challenging behaviors in dementia do have meaning. Our job as primary therapists and professional therapists is to continue to improve the quality of patients’ lives. The dose of crying and shouting can be reduced by a combination of supportive and calm behavior and appropriate medications

Activities that can be done to reduce outbursts of crying and shouting:

If you have checked that all the basic needs of the person with dementia have been met, but he is still shouting and crying, you must perform these calming actions:

1. Playing favorite music – check with him what his favorite music is and play it for him, the music can calm him down and distract him.
2. Interaction with small children – young children cause a lot of joy in life for older people in general and dementia patients in particular.
3. Therapy using animals – a pet animal can develop a sense of empathy and love towards it on the part of the dementia patient and thus has a calming effect on the person with dementia.
4. Fresh air – a change in one’s environment can always improve one’s day.
5. Snack or drink – sometimes a tasty snack or drink can distract the person with dementia and provide them with temporary comfort.
6. Gentle and soothing touch – try to hold his hand, caress his shoulder or comb his hair. These gestures, which express love and concern and not just help them in their day-to-day activities, greatly improve the quality of their lives and calm them down.

Important accessories and games for dementia patients.

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In conclusion-

Sometimes, behaviors in dementia are like a challenging puzzle to solve. We don’t have the magic solution to solve it, but we know that there are things that can be done to ease and help.

As primary therapists and professional therapists, we constantly have to persevere and work to solve the puzzle. In the end, don’t forget that our stress may increase the anxiety and stress of the dementia patient.

Taking short breaks of a few minutes can prevent flooding in the therapist himself and the matter is important for the mental health of both the therapist and the patient. You are invited to share the article and also comment and make your comments about it in the comments below.

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