Your family member has reached a point where he needs help with daily activities and you are no longer able to provide that help. In this case, there is no choice but to get a therapist to help your older family members deal with daily tasks. The uncertainty about who is the person who will help the family member who needs help, causes you pangs of conscience. Feelings of guilt even increase, when the elderly is a person who has taken care of you all your life and now you are the ones who have to take care of him.
In any case, if it is difficult for you to take care of your elderly family member, due to some kind of cognitive and/or functional deterioration. Therefore, he needs care and supervision for 24 hours a day, you should not feel guilty and I will immediately explain why.
This is a natural matter because when our loved ones need our help, we will be drawn to their help. Just as our loved ones helped us when they were younger. This thought is admirable, but at the same time, it is not realistic at all. When people age and their health deteriorates, they need help that more than two or three people are able to give. We cannot leave our offspring and work aside and go take care of our elderly family members two or three times a week.
Therefore, we start looking for other treatment options, despite being full of guilt.
Treatment options that are not in a nursing home-
1. In your family’s home-
This option means that we actually allow the elderly family member to live with us in our home, of course if the space in our home is sufficient for that. If this is the path we choose for them, we need the other family members not to show any objection to it.
Home Care..
2. Elderly clubs-
If our elderly family member is still sober, or has a slight cognitive decline, this can be a wonderful option for them for employment during the day. At the Senior Citizens Club, your older family members will be able to receive close supervision as well as diverse options for employment. This option means that your family member is under supervision that is not yours.
3. Home Caregiver-
Another potential option, this, is a caregiver at home. But, pangs of conscience are still gnawing at you and you are not the ones giving your elderly family member all the care. The person who takes care of them is a stranger who helps you. In any case, it is important to remember that your family member has someone who cares and cares, while you can take care of your own things.
4. Placing the elderly in out-of-home housing-
When the day comes, home care is no longer an option. You must have promised yourself that you would never put your family member in a nursing home. But, the time comes when you must break this promise.
If your family member suffers from delusions or wanders and can’t find his way home. You have no choice here, but to find him an institutional arrangement. If it has already become physically and mentally difficult for you to take him down and get him back to bed. You have no choice but to find an institutional arrangement for your older family member. Another example of this is that it is physically difficult for you to pick up and take down your family member from the bed, due to a stroke and you must call for help for this. This is, in fact, another clear sign that your older family member needs an institutional arrangement.
How to overcome the pangs of conscience that attack us when placing our elderly family member in an institutional arrangement?
Your understanding that the care of the elderly dear to you requires more help than you are able to give, causes pangs of conscience to rise. You know you are unable to care for your elderly family member alone, but you cannot stop the guilt from overwhelming you.
what can be done?
A. Acknowledge that you are doing and have done the best you can for your elderly family member – to truly understand that you have done and are doing everything possible to take care of your elderly family member.
Today people live longer than in the past and are generally in much worse shape than in the past. If you had sent your dear elderly person to a nursing home 40 years ago, he probably wouldn’t have survived the way he can today, in today’s nursing homes.
B. Do your research on nursing homes – It is very important to take the initiative and find the best geriatric facility for your elderly family members. This means, go and make visits to the various institutions close to your area of residence. Make it a family project. Go together with the rest of the family to visit the various institutions or have a tour of duty, then discuss what you think about the places you saw. Ask questions and do some background research on the different places you’ve seen, in order to find the best place for your older family member.
This process will ensure that you do everything possible to find the best facility for your loved one and you will feel confident that your loved one is safe. By doing so, you will be able to trust the staff of the institution to take care of your loved one, as you do.
C. You still take care of them – although you moved your dear family members to a nursing home, you still take care of them. You can and even in some cases should be appointed as a guardian for them and also serve as their main caregivers (the contacts with the institution’s staff).
Make sure that you can put the personal belongings of your family members into their room in the nursing home, in order to make their room as similar as possible to their home, before entering the nursing home. You should stay in frequent contact with your senior’s ward staff. When you release the feelings of guilt, you will be able to start enjoying being with your dear family members. the difference?
What would happen if you let go of your guilty feelings that cause pangs of conscience?
You will not feel that you are tied to the needs of the elderly dear to you. You will have more time for yourself and you can devote yourself to your hobbies again. You won’t feel tired and you can do positive things for them like bringing your children and grandchildren to visit. You can bring them foods and movies they like to watch.
When you release the feelings of guilt, you will be able to do all these things with feelings of joy and love and not out of pangs of conscience. Your older family member will also feel more relaxed this way and will thank you for devoting your valuable time to him to make them happier.
What do you need to remember?
It is very important to tell yourself again and again that you are doing the best for your older family member and for yourself. You are all human and are not able to do so much for them on your own. Although you broke your promise not to put them in a nursing home, by visiting them often, you are still their primary caregiver. You don’t have to feel guilty about putting them in a geriatric center, it’s all for their benefit and yours.
Registered: Irit Rabinowitz, M.A. in social work in the field of health and rehabilitation.
Hello dear retiree! We have reached the day that most of us dream of reaching and as you know a dream is not a cheap thing. Let’s see how it is possible to reach retirement with financial well-being and do it responsibly and efficiently
Do’s and Don’ts in Retirement
Do not do:
Do not make rash actions in the asset portfolio (pension, training, provident funds, real estate portfolio, etc.) without consulting an expert in the field.
Don’t become an overnight real estate, capital market, high tech and brewery investor.
Do not refuse to take the advice of an experienced and reputable expert because
“From all my teaching I have learned, because your testimony is a conversation to me.”
Do not take actions against the income tax without consulting a retirement planner, tax advisor or certified accountant. This tip can save you tens or even hundreds of thousands of shekels.
Made:
Summarize the flow of monthly income and expenses:
Why ?
Because in most cases the expenses in retirement increase more electricity, water, trips, a new car and even just to pamper the grandchildren.
You will be surprised to hear that the current income is decreasing.
Summarize all your assets and understand which ones give you a higher return and how you maximize their profits.
*For those of us interested in the definition of an asset, it is as follows: An asset is defined as a resource that is under the control of an entity and is expected to bring economic benefits to the entity in the future.
Example: real estate for investment, monthly pension, education fund and investment policies.
Build a routine for you, a daily schedule and goals to fulfill your dreams and what the cost of those goals will be and where you finance it.
I claim that a person who has no mountain to climb simply degenerates, we must find new peaks to conquer and achieve.
You will understand your full rights vis-à-vis the government authorities (income tax, social security) who are your partners whether you like it or not and try to pay as little as possible within the law of course.
Click on the image to leave details for more information-
Background:
In my work, I encounter clients who are surprised to find out that it is possible to save money that they never dreamed of and that you can get more money from the income tax.
As part of Amendment 190 to the Income Tax Ordinance that took effect in 2012, the basket of exemptions for retirees has increased considerably. The problem is that the benefits are not given automatically but through a process called determination of rights (Form 161D). These forms, it requires the understanding of an expert from the field because it is a non-returnable form.
I met a lovely 68-year-old retiree who, to my surprise, paid about NIS 450 in income tax every month. After a short inquiry, I understood from her that she was sure that she was taken care of properly because she left a well-organized and large workplace.
After filling out form 161 D, establishing rights for an assessor in her area of residence, she received a full exemption from paying the monthly tax and retroactive refunds from the age of 62.
She received refunds in the amount of NIS 32,000 and a future exemption throughout her entire life. With a quick calculation according to average life expectancy, she saved herself a tax worth NIS 151,000. Which in my opinion is a significant amount of money.
Is it also in your eyes?
We would be happy to hear your opinions on the matter, in the comments below.
For further advice, you are welcome to enter my company’s business page on Facebook – The Center for Retirement Planning and contact me!
You are invited to join the WhatsApp group regarding retirement.
Consider the following scenario. There are 30 elderly people in a nursing home, all aged 70, 80, some even over 90. The nurses work in shifts to take care of them. During the evening shift, all 30 seniors are cared for by one nurse (let’s call her Naama); Together with 2-3 assistants and some qualified therapists.
Naama has to make rounds; give them the meals; help them change clothes; put them to bed, give them snacks to eat; Empty the trash cans in the rooms and a sheet of tasks with the help of little manpower.
During the work, she is constantly interrupted with problem after problem. One of the elderly shouts loudly that he wants to go home. Another lays down on the floor and refuses to get up. Nursing is literally a one-man army, and the ridiculously stressful situations are just another typical day at work.
Shortage of personnel and shortage of qualified caregivers in nursing homes-
These are the experiences of nurses in the USA and Israel. Lack of personnel in nursing homes have brought the profession to extreme and insane human pressure.
How are a handful of people (at most two nurses and 4 therapists) supposed to deal with all this? In addition to conversations, care and love for the elderly – and then fill out all the reports without staying overtime?!
The short answer is – impossible! Something must go wrong when the nurse has to take care of so many debts. According to the latest statistics, things are definitely going wrong in the elderly care sector in the country.
But how can we blame the nurses and the nursing homes, when there is only one person in charge of dozens of different problems per minute?
Or, alternatively, do we blame the families of the tenants who placed their loved ones in the care of strangers?
There is no specific person who can be blamed for the lack of qualified therapists:
Everyone suffers. It is unreasonable to expect one person to manage and care for the needs of so many elderly people at the same time.
mistakes in the distribution of medicines or meals; Lack of attention to small symptoms of pain in the patient which can be an indication of a bigger problem; Or simply the inability to give them the necessary time – all of these can actively contribute to the decrease in the quality of life that the elderly experience in the nursing home. Elderly people, especially those suffering from trauma and problems such as dementia, are sent to nursing homes because their families are unable to provide them with the care they need.
These people are far from their loved ones. Stuck in a place with 50 other seniors and are desperately lonely. The sisters are the ray of light in their lives. A good nurse doesn’t just feed them and clean up after them; She also comforts them, calms them and makes them feel loved.
A client, unsure if she wanted to take on the role of guardianship for her mother who has a moderate level of dementia, came to me for help. The woman said her mother could still recognize people but did forget what day it was from time to time.
Her mother also began to suffer from delusions. She was convinced that her mother was still about to think clearly, and could make decisions for her mother. Although her doctor and I explained that the disease was rapidly progressing, the daughter refused to begin the guardianship process.
It wasn’t until her mother fell and needed surgery from her broken leg that she discovered her mother was worse off than she thought.
Doctors would not do the surgery without her mother’s permission, and since they felt she was unable to give it, they did a mental test. She scored low on the test. It was then a social worker took temporary guardianship of the mother.
This process took several days to resolve, and the mother had to remain in the hospital in pain before surgery could be performed. She was given painkillers often to help with the pain. This would never have happened if the daughter had listened and assumed guardianship over her mother.
Guardianship: Should you become one? and the legal process behind it.
Many people, as they age, have dementia. The more serious the dementia is, the more help the person will need in their day.
Elderly dementia patients are at both physical and financial risk due to their susceptibility to abuse (such as physical, emotional, financial, etc.) and their own decisions. These patients needed even more protection from predators.
For example, an older adult who refuses to allow a caregiver in their home or refuses to move to a nursing home could be deemed risking themselves and their environment.
If the same person suffers a stroke and can no longer talk and needs assistance 24 hours a day, they are no longer able to provide their input into the kind of care they will get. This is why guardianship was designed.
What Is A Guardianship?
A guardian is selected to make someone’s personal decisions for them. This is a person who is unable to decide for themselves where they will live and what kind of health care they need.
The guardian can make these decisions for them. And, an elderly person can have more than one guardian– one person can make financial decisions; another person can make healthcare decisions. Also, they can both be a guardian for both kinds of decisions.
Should You Become A Guardian For Your Loved One?
When you take on the role of guardianship, you have to let the court know every so often about how the person is doing.
Make sure you fully understand the role you are about to take on before you become their legal guardian. If becoming a legal guardian over someone sounds tedious, there are other alternatives to consider.
If an emergency arises, you could always file for a temporary guardianship, where the court assigns who the guardian will be.
Corona virus vaccine – the types of vaccines developed
In Israel began the operation “Returning to Life”, which the population is vaccinated with Pfizer and Moderna vaccines against the Corona virus. The Corona virus vaccine have been approved for use by the US Food and Drug Administration. The purpose of corona virus vaccine is to introduce the body to only the spike protein found on the surface of the virus, without exposing the vaccinated person to the whole virus. This means that the body will produce antibodies against this specific protein.
The effectiveness of the corona vaccine
The vaccines of Pfizer and Moderna have been tested in several countries and in several stages of development, as is customary in any process of vaccine development. In the first stage, the corona virus was vaccinated, tested on animals and found to be effective. Next, the vaccines on humans were also tested and were also found to be effective in the development of antibodies to the corona virus.
The protection of the corona vaccine
The Corona vairus vaccinae of Pfizer and Moderna have been tested in several countries and in several stages of development, as is customary in any process of vaccine development. In the first stage, the corona virus was vaccinated, tested on animals and found to be effective. Next, the vaccines on humans were also tested and were also found to be effective in the development of antibodies to the corona virus.
Side effects that require consultation with a doctor
If within 4 hours of receiving the first dose patients suffer from one or more of the following symptoms, the attending to the doctor should be consulted regarding receiving the second dose: – Skin system irritation (rash, scabies, itching, redness on the face). – Difficulties in the respiratory system (shortness of breath, troublesome cough, wheezing). – Cardiovascular symptoms (rapid pulse or decreased blood pressure). – Gastrointestinal disorders (nausea, vomiting, diarrhea).
Should a mask be worn after receiving the vaccine?
It is still recommended even for those who have been vaccinated to take all known precautions: masks, social alienation and maintaining hygiene, in order to maintain personal and public safety. This is also the recommendation for those who have recovered from Corona disease. Once the State of Israel has a large mass of vaccinated, we can probably give up these precautions.
Our body needs the energy to survive. Where does that energy come from? Food, of course! Food is broken down into tiny molecules of sugar called glucose; from glucose, we get energy. Diabetes disease is, actually, a group of diseases that arise due to abnormal levels of glucose in the bloodstream.
Glucose levels in the blood are controlled by the hormone insulin, which is produced in small amounts by the pancreas. People with diabetes either do not produce the sugar-regulating hormone, or the cells in their body have, unfortunately, become immune to it. This results in the fundamental problem behind the condition: too much sugar in a person’s blood.
Diabetes is a life-long disease with approximately 415 million people being afflicted with it all over the world – that’s 1 in 11 people! There are two main types of diabetes, simply referred to as Type 1 and Type 2. We’ve explained what they are and the difference between them below.
Types of Diabetes
Type 1: Insulin-Dependent Diabetes disease
In Type 1 Diabetes, the pancreatic cells in the body are unable to produce insulin (because they’re destroyed by the immune system). Afflicted people are dependent on external insulin injections to stay healthy.
Type 1 is commonly diagnosed during childhood and adolescence and usually develops in people who have diabetes disease in their family. For example, having diabetic parents increases the chance of diagnosis.
In lesson common cases, Type 1 diabetes also occurs due to coming into contact with something in the environment. The immune system becomes activated and attacks insulin-producing cells in the pancreas, thus resulting in diabetes.
Approximately 10% of all diabetes disease cases account for Type 1 diabetes in children. It’s spread evenly among boys and girls and is mainly characterized by a deficiency in blood sugar.
Type 2 Diabetes: Not Dependent on Insulin
Unlike people with Type 1, people diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes disease are able to (some extent) produce insulin. The problem, however, lies in the fact that the amount of insulin produced is either not enough, or else the person’s body has become resistant to insulin.
When there is not enough insulin in the bloodstream or the body doesn’t absorb it as it should, the levels of glucose in the blood increase (since there’s no one to stop them) which results in the disease.
Type 2 diabetes is the most common form, with approximately 18 million Americans being affected. It usually occurs in people over the age of 40 and with existing health conditions like obesity.
In many cases, doctors are able to predict the onset of Type 2 diabetes and detect it during early stages (pre-diabetes) when blood sugar levels in the body are slightly higher than normal. This type can be prevented by doing regular exercise, maintaining a healthy diet, and controlling your weight.
Unfortunately, even though Type 2 diabetes occurs most commonly in adults, nowadays it is also being diagnosed in children. It is extremely important to promote healthy eating and fitness in schools, to prevent obesity in younger people so that they become less prone to being afflicted with diabetes.
Type 2 Diabetes: Gestational diabetes disease
Aside from the conditions above, there is a third type of diabetes which sometimes happens in pregnant women. Gestational diabetes is triggered due to the changing hormones in the body during pregnancy. The chances of developing it increase in women who are over 25 years old, have a family history of diabetes or were overweight before their pregnancy.
Blood sugars usually return to normal approximately 6 weeks after childbirth; It does, however, result in an increased chance of the mother developing Type 2 diabetes afterward. Approximately 4% of women are affected by Gestational Diabetes Worldwide.
